The 30 Second Executive Summary
- Physical capability means having the strength, skill and judgement to handle yourself under pressure. Developing it may be part of what draws men to Jiu Jitsu and Muay Thai, including a desire to become more attractive.
- Strength deserves more attention than height. A review of 96 studies found strength and muscularity predicted mating and reproductive outcomes more consistently than height. [3]
- Jiu Jitsu and Muay Thai develop the timing, technique and decisions that help you apply your strength against another person.
- Whether you are dating or want to feel more attractive to your wife or girlfriend, explore what physical capability could add to your life. Start with a free trial at SBG New Braunfels.
The full article
Could the real appeal of Jiu Jitsu and Muay Thai be something we rarely acknowledge? The research below offers a different way to think about why learning to handle yourself can be so compelling.
An interesting idea about what women find attractive
In her video The Only Thing Women Want From Men, psychology commentator Kait Willett explores an argument about capacity. Her published outline presents muscularity and money as signals of something underneath them: the ability to act effectively. She describes physical and social routes to that capacity. [1]
That is an intriguing way to think about attraction. A strong physique is one visible signal of capability. Learning to handle yourself adds an ability you can experience directly.
For a man who already works hard and takes care of his responsibilities, Jiu Jitsu and Muay Thai offer a way to develop a physical side of himself that everyday life may rarely challenge.
What the research says about strength
A 2017 study asked people to judge photographs of men’s bodies. Perceived strength accounted for about 70 percent of the variation in bodily attractiveness ratings. Height and leanness contributed additional information. Those findings concern the bodies shown in the study, rather than everything that makes a person attractive. [2]
A larger 2022 review combined 96 studies involving approximately 177,000 participants. Among the six masculine traits examined, strength and muscularity were the strongest and most consistent predictors of both mating and reproductive outcomes. [3]
These findings give physical capability a meaningful place in the discussion. They also point toward something practical: you can work on your physical condition and acquire new skills, whatever your height or starting point.
We do not always recognise what attracts us
People’s explanations of attraction can miss part of what influences them.
A study involving more than 10,000 people across 43 countries found that both men and women underestimated the importance of physical attractiveness in their romantic evaluations. The discrepancy was larger among women. Stated preferences still had some predictive value, but they did not capture the whole picture. [4]
You may recognise something similar in your own reasons for exercising. Getting fitter is an easy goal to explain. Wanting to feel more attractive to your partner, or more assured when meeting someone new, can matter just as much without being the first thing you mention.
You are allowed to want that for yourself.
Developing the ability to apply your strength
A muscular body shows physical potential. Using that strength effectively requires skills of its own. You need to recognise what is happening, choose an action and adjust when the situation changes.
This is the broader idea of capability we are exploring. It brings physical resources together with the mental agility to use them. The attraction studies above did not directly measure that combination, but it offers an interesting way to understand the appeal of combat training.
In Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, a stronger person can still struggle against someone who understands position and leverage. Training teaches you where to apply effort, how to escape and when to change your approach. Your partner responds, so you have to keep solving the problem rather than simply repeat a movement.
In Muay Thai, power needs distance and timing. You learn to notice movement, protect yourself and choose when to act. Partner practice connects physical effort with decisions made under pressure.
These are practical abilities you can develop for situations involving another person. They also show why physical capability means more than appearance alone. A useful goal is to become stronger while learning how to use that strength with control and judgement.
The studies do not establish that combat skill makes someone more attractive or guarantees an outcome in a confrontation. Our proposition is that learning to handle yourself offers a meaningful way to develop capability alongside the physical qualities associated with attraction.
For men in relationships as well as men who are dating
Wanting to be attractive does not end when you meet someone.
You can love the life you have built together and still want to feel stronger, take better care of your body and bring renewed energy to it. Giving yourself time to develop a demanding skill can be a satisfying part of that effort.
If you are dating, training gives you a pursuit of your own, people to learn alongside and a way to work on how you feel about yourself. You have a reason to leave the house and do something that challenges you.
Whether your motivation is a new relationship or an existing one, becoming more physically capable is a goal you can begin pursuing now.
Try a class at SBG New Braunfels
You do not need to arrive fit or know how to fight. Our adult programs welcome beginners, with an emphasis on fundamentals and learning at an appropriate level.
Explore our adult Brazilian Jiu Jitsu classes or Muay Thai program, and book a free beginner-friendly trial.
Find out how it feels to develop that part of yourself.
Sources and further reading
[1] Kait Willett. The Only Thing Women Want From Men. Published video description and chapter outline. Watch the video.
[2] Sell, Lukaszewski and Townsley. Cues of upper body strength account for most of the variance in men’s bodily attractiveness. Proceedings of the Royal Society B, 2017. Read the study.
[3] Lidborg, Cross and Boothroyd. A meta-analysis of the association between male dimorphism and fitness outcomes in humans. eLife, 2022. Read the study.
[4] Eastwick and colleagues. A worldwide test of the predictive validity of ideal partner preference matching. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 2025; published online 2024. Read the study.